Friday, October 9, 2020

Let's Be Honest Here

                                      



Let's Be Honest Here


                       The foremost of the storm's
Multitude moves the wave belly-lovely
Glass of the glass sea shadow of water  
On the open water no other way
to come here the outer
Limit of the ego.
                        George Oppen
                        From a Phrase of Simone Weil's
                        And Some Words of Hegel's

I'd said I'd said not
having to remember I'd said the stuff of its sound is still
living from when it entered into
me and cried and tried 
from one split end
to the other to escape
and I let 
when I was
able
the most of it out yes what I could
and I cauterized
the rest what didn't wash
down the drain down
the cum-done drain I tell you  
                                            I wouldn't
want to be the lips of that pipel I didn't
want to be those lips
and insisting isn't enough
when loved ones turn
you over and fuck you up
the ass and withdraw with one hand
on the small
of your back and the other under the rim
of their cock stroking themselves off come on baby
come on baby bitch come on come on tight as wind puckered
against the one once living
blade of grass pinched
and blew through for that absurd horny
sound and the thumbed
and rubbed not unroughly and not
randomly on the bottom lip
of my mouth so that for days he called to me sweat easy buttery
veal
 

Saturday, May 23, 2020

What of It?





What of It?


What of it?  The grain
bag limp in the middle 
half gone invitation
to rats if it weren't

for the sentry tom, his
knotted paw (caught
in some trap or shot
and all the more caustic

for it) and the dust
coming up in the mote
of sun early enough
from may on through

who needs the brief
kerosene limp in her faux
crystal base and teetering
fingers filling her in

the dark after the globe's
come off and laid new born
baby like in the dry
sink clean of the weeks

of keeping the wick just
clear enough of the draft
burner to see what all
of the buckets and the odd

missed thus unmilled
kernel picked up by the hob
of his boot and left off
on the way to the coop what of

it easing itself in the mud
if there is some and it 
dulling in the rut before
some dove comes to

sooth the view into 
a descending fog in front
of the sun and what's already
come and gone and done

its dust job on that grain
bag, heavy enough fog
that won't burn off.  And all
that walks in and out 

of ill or good will be omens
will be thrown some briefly some
forever by the jittery needle
excited by the iron shoved

in the fire to light the pinched
end of last summer's news,
the come and gone of men
and the old hen on the block.











Wednesday, May 20, 2020

as, presumably,




as, presumably 
(believe with me)

for jessie t

made of marsh or creek
grass or river reeds

or even some pieces
of each - see her reach

between the brief
breezes (and see)

they lift the wispy sheen
of her feathers between

her wings, above her knees
of dragon-feet green, her eased

ability, scaly wefted see
her reach for ophidian confetti-

trembling- moon-steeped, beak
cleaved memory.  then see each

writhen twist need
to leak free of her, 

cleaved in two, in three, daily
in legions, heaved, but discreetly


see?








Tuesday, May 19, 2020

seeing christina

seeing christina

barn
from wyeth's grave


hard to say which way she's facing
back to any gazer who invades her
world easy as walking in for tea
assuming thee's plenty of cream 
if it's taken that way or something
sweet if it's handy or even necessary
or water drawn up from the pump
and sitting still in the kettle 
on the burner plate.  Ignore her
stench. Ignore the loose floor
boards or the obvious worn to gloss 
spots she's as acquainted with as if
they were her lover, and her hip
bone and tipped lip of pelvis bone
honed as on a stone (though if 
you go to the barn you'll know
such a stone) go barefoot in the close
of the morning in the close 
of the noon hour in the close 
of the whole length of the day
and evening and caress where 
her body and the grim grip of her
fist is a heron on the thin barren birch
limbs sticking through the river
ice in winter.  how do we know
it's the old house she's seeing tell me
what do you see?  fields like wheat?
really blueberry beneath.  Wheel
tracks thick as troughs muddy pot
holes doesn't she have to slide through
on her way across the flat horizon
the painter has tracked you to?  Or
the sixteen windows facing 
the sea aren't there sixteen see
the deep receding nearly green 
matte sans sheen.  The one economy
of a frugal rag the shifting from
house to barn and the swallows 
against the lift of the different
wind in this acre of field the ascension
of her coming chignon and thin
thin aggression of the ladder 
against the rafters  

Friday, May 15, 2020

roll call


briefly





roll call

to explain grace requires
a curious hand.
                                                Marianne Moore
                                                the Pangolin

These days and days we’ve stayed
in place and yet stray
from the grace of immaculate spaces, 
the dogged way of tracing

the abeyance of dates,
their traceable
fingerprint places: how their being
there is a shape how their not

being 
there is 
shape: how

they have names how
they have places how
they have cravings how
they have made ways of how to be

named aloud and not dismissed
because listen, when you call them
out  they’ll stray back into their throat.  
Like ticking the roll with your mechanical

pencil, quick check quick capital
A into the string of teeny
squares that for now will run
the full twelve weeks

blank and clean to the coming end:
weeks and weeks and in my tired
dated way, a paper layout
to make it all keep up and in place

keep it easy,
keep it being
keep it needing to be
seen. Take heed:

lean like you used to
lean, each of you: how you
listened, remember listening?
to the whole

goddamn list predicting (not
really) it
your name
what pen or sketch of serial

will has nested there
between two others (unless
you’re first unless you’re
last)

and you wait it out until it arrives
like every soothing routine
it arrives somehow
in time.  But now.  See? see?

see that Friday doesn’t need me
to say it’s Friday
to be Friday.  It’s all honest
and arbitrary but for the pure

dependence of it, the box
on the calendar
and what’s inside
to tell us

where and what we need to
see and be and re-
member              .
before it’s all thrown off its delicate

metronome in the midst of a plague
in the midst of a quarantine.  Tomorrow
the calendar says
I’ll be fifty.  Today it says

I’m forty-
nine.  I’m counting.  I have been
counting.  I’m right
where I belong, pausing all

that stalled indulgence like when,
when, when will the delivery come,
when will I hold it out and not
open it and not put it on the table

or the vanity or the porch rail if
the sun’s out
and watch for the weather to turn
watch for the afternoon to come on, watch it

March watch its sun come closing in later
(incrementally) than it did yesterday.  Or like phases
of the moon.  or illnesses.  But truly, whose
looking?

Before I reach for my darling
knife to open this gift (not the sun and not the moon
but if I could, now’s the time
wouldn’t you say?) I think of slitting

the edges on the ends first
and do, to ease the middle forward
and toward my rib and count
the seconds it will take to make it

finally

after all this gone by time,
see the light I have to light
if my fire's bright and not all that guardedly
or needing to be seeing

as what’s being
lifted or
poured or
tumbled . . .it’s been

a long, long time coming  up
or down or staying the same
marked or not marked Friday come Monday
or whatever day makes me

say today today
today is the day the last
day in this day and age that I’ll be this age
and I take it out for a walk

like it was a dog wanting
green grass or wanting
another dog’s pee tree
or even sweeter

like it was not any one day at all
you feel me? and being
such creatures who move as clumsily
or as gracefully as Marianne

Moore’s pangolin, depending
on how it needs to utilize
its armor
or its tongue

or its teeny eyes
or its absolute
vulnerability . . .tell me who?
you? needs

names for days of the week to be
boxed and shipped off
to the roll call to be stuffed
by incurious and injurious hands

so that by the time we arrives to be
opened we're all in shards or sand
or chunks some as big as my hand
some ground down to powder

some just relieved of its one small handle
now in three pieces
now resting in the bottom
of the vessel it was meant to be held,

light of the world it is, up with.

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

clemency

   


 
clemency

                                    It's not
about the light - but how dark
        it makes you depending
on where you stand.
                                Ocean Vuong
                                Eurydice
 

if i could pause in this fixed spot
i could watch how the drop of water on the top
of the birdbath's brim will

cast back the moon, falling half full. watch
her revolving on the olive branch
of morning. watch the water in the bowl,

cracked and compact with mid may's still
icy night, stay calm enough
to splinter her setting reflection. if i could

stop in that fixed spot or yet let
myself move with the moon i'd tell
myself she would break out of that drop

of water and slip from far to the lip
of the bowl close to me and let herself 
in or at least spill on my knees in the draught

of wind, the coming sun, before
she slips and slips under the gazing
ball in the shade of the brief azaleas  


Tuesday, May 12, 2020

pause




yesterday we watched a fox
stalk the goslings.  the pond

their world.  the field beyond
another unmarred nebula.

everything is still winter
gold, the daffodils on the hill

rogues.  who knows
how they came to be

that far away from the road
the border garden our neighbor's

property line.  free
as they are  and as seeing as

they can be leaf
green and briefly pink

in their middles like vixen
tongues they know nothing

or everything about
the hunger of pups

or goslings.  and brief
the black paw raised

and brief the black foot
paused, grass, daffodil, water

and too



The peasant families have to work 
hard. The woman next door keeps pounding 
rice in the cold. My hostess 
kneels to serve me wild 
rice, Moonlight shining 
on the full white plate.
Li Po

and too
such a moon is a globular bowl
of rice tipped on her rim 
spilling or ever
about to.  you see
the benevolence of this, 

sunlight at night.  It is 
a cool luxury and so 
crucial to the hungry: 
at least one scintilla will
reach them we hope it will

not burn their tongue
and we hope it will
 be enough

Monday, May 11, 2020

May 11, 2020

Weathered Spire



But only a mother can walk
                             with the weight
of a second beating heart.
                                         Ocean Vuong
                                         Headfirst

For the odd five minutes or so
and depending on 
the exact angle of the sun
and depending on
the cloud cover and if

a bit of rain in the night
the sun turns the small stand
of tall pines from green to briefly
copper.  Or bronze. Depending
on your vantage or your 
astigmatism.  I know,
I said that yesterday,
in a different poem.  But it was in
a different poem.  It was Mother's
Day and i was thinking maybe

she'd been facing me 
from the ease and being so tall now
and so far gone she'd augur
my day and I'd be briefly free
of her and believe there were 
times when she was free of me too
like she wanted to be.

It's different today, the copper/
bronze, because I've waited
for it, it's not new anymore.  
I watched the compass of my thoughts
tempted by lesser magnitudes
hove on that invisible anchor
and drift finally, though still
trembling, settle true.  I don't know

how to use a real compass but I can 
say I am gravitating to the shifting
blue the sun is illuminating.  Today
the poet said it was a different blue
than the mantle they painted
on Mary and how that color came
to be coveted by Popes.  Like 
they owned it.  Like we children
of some lesser god were so hunched
under our yokes we couldn't look 
up and see how broad and free

it was over our heads.  Hail Mary.
There are some mothers your grace
can't save though maybe saving
isn't at all what they wanted and maybe
you knew that all
along. Beneath that blue robe
you're the same color

as the canopy of pines and weeping
beeches.  When the sun comes
from such a longitude as it does
along the drawn assumptions of 
men trying to get there, wherever
there is, these brief days mean
I'll see it and I'll think of you 
and her like I think without thinking
come sunup I'll be doing something
motherly but I'm not sure what.





























Sunday, May 10, 2020

Clouds Moving East



Prayer, 
said Mechthild of Magdeburg, 
brings together two lovers, 
God and the soul, 
in a narrow room where they speak much 
of love...
The Cloud of Unknowing

Already the moon is blunted,
a melon left on the marble
counter for days and days
in its ripening
rind, its sheer mass pressed
by gravity. The suit
is heavier than any one 
body, sentient or not, can
endure in its wild 
and flaunting ignorance.
Imagine, bereft of being free
of the tree or vine
it complined within,
that it's not 
tethered, that it's not
dependent on fingers
and palms and come-up-from-
the-bottom buoyancy

to lift it from its own 
mass and save it by making it
briefly, weightless.   Let me
ask you: 

are you sometimes covetous
of the wind that the tops
of the trees, needles and leaves
sift and sieve? Or fractured
by it? Because the sun is the sun,
because a combination of this 
and an early May 
morning when after 
the clouds going east
have been carded and thinned,
there's still
a bit of the green 
in the canopy of the king's 
pines is lit into a rust 
so like copper,
so like bronze there's been
a reverse verdigris?  And
throwing caution up you want
to extend your gratitude
for seeing such a portent
that you forget your skin
and bones and strings
of sinew and compromised
by the weight
of gravity and you fly

up to take the host 
into your own fingers
and communion dew
onto your tongue 
and for the rest of your brief
life you remain miraculous
and unpoisoned?

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

It's Rare

After Surgery
19 days old




It's Rare

after reading Cherry Blossoms 
by Tess Gallagher

but sometimes first reads are so stunning
  and cast such a spell they beg to never
be read again

 and only in the very least held
held in the taut bowl of the tongue
like the uncasked whisky

after its waited the way
whisky waits for years and years
in the hidden billet

of its maker.   Say you were charged
with waiting like that, all that time while  
a favored tree comes to flower, say

that such an orchard was
planted as a chroniker
and it made modesty an art form

and every year refused
a really big show.  Say the bees
alone appreciate

its unfecund beginnings
and take the news
back to their hive as their own

devotion.  Say the only way
to know it's all ready -
the poem - the spirit - the honey

is to watch the way a word, a breath, 
a hive comes alive at precisely
the right hour and time 

the queen gets briefly loosed of her duties
and bivouacks into the crony
undergrowth and some of her all  

ten thousand virgins girdle her
while the far off efflorescence,
sssssshocked with all that calling,

is song drop song drop song drop 
on and along their petals in a sort 
of May squall that to watch 

in the debouching heat of the morning 
is to unbung the abiding into the copper ladle,
to sniff with the expertise

of a goddess.  And because

the tongue is always the last to know,
if you think about how
breath works, how taste

works.  Try this: breathe. Breathe
all the way in to where
the tremor begins

and hold it there.  Hold it
while all around the outside of you
knocks and knocks to get in.

And it's days (and by then
it's changed and changed)
before you can

let it.

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Translations Maybe the Most Arduous of Berths to Attend to

Translations

maybe because they are the most
  arduous of berths to attend to,

in deciphering a tongue do you coax it
over the roof of your own mouth like a heavy stone?

Do you choose the texture and do you choose
the if it will conduct?  Do you then choose the current

and the voltage you ramp to pass through it?
and is your own breath the conduit of speaking?

Tell me,

isn't the first an act of listening a tip of your
head and ear toward mouths of strangers, supplicant.

Isn't it a courtship of clime and season, isn't
it reading of all that's barometric at the time, and spiritic, 

isn't  it a betrothal of treasuries, of lexicons and those
enunciations coaxed from the mute or not so much

mute 

as new to the music new to the thew new
to the movement of the jaw and the cheeks

how each squeeze receives the spleen
before releasing, breathing out all they'd held

in the cauldron or crucible (you choose
if you're listening) of their translations,

in the museums of the compilation of all
their worlds and it's then they know they have

the right word 

the one that's been misspoke
misheard understood, misused, mistranslated 

accidentally or purposely perverted all along,
when the audience en masse lift  their ears

up like something's being poured 
into the precious grail w

complete with handle ear
grips and allows the new translation

to be poured, a lost wax relief, and be
rebuilt reshaped renamed the way the poets

the way the Desert Fathers and Mothers
the way Avalokitesvara and her cask

of pure libations ease the beaten skin
of the dragons all the lost souls kick

in her direction until she's a pillar of dragons,
until she's the brief and eternal ear

and tongue of the masses, until calm
they come to search and take up their own

argot and waltz it to bed to do with it
what they will.

little spark





little spark



benign enough i suppose the mud
dauber pauses and crawls pauses
and crawls along the carrying beam
of the ceiling batting its body dropping
rising doing what spring bugs do
who are caught in the house with
something new to ponder.  earlier
i swatted it with a rolled up
pennysaver and it occurred to me
to consider there are only one or two
uses for a rolled up newspaper:
to light the end on fire so as to
lean it in to the fuel you've tee-
peed in the bowl to open the most
opportunity for smoke to go straight
through the roof and open flue
(depending on your purposes right
romance warmth possibly food)

and dogs.  the only other member of
the family who's not reading
the news or seeing cheap meet
my needs please and for pennies
please see i've scrapped them
and buried them into the hollow
bodies of pigs (or not to be out-
done or undone you choose) some
container less its cliche: a little
boy's lasting fascination with spider-
man or the square ceramic story
book not really practical for
the intended audience to grip
but it does tell a story and if
there are coins in it all the better
for sound effects about getting
lost and then found again or
if you start in the other direction
and depending on the way you turn
it of being found and then lost
again.  like this poor mud

dauber.  Lost.  come in on a coat
or an open door.  there's something
lazily furious about her search
for the way out.  the predictor
in me wants a heavier daily news
the new york times maybe to wack
it squished against the plaster. 
the guilty dog in me waits
patiently anxious for the master
to come home see what i've done
and act accordingly.  the worn
spot on my nose says enough
about how quick i am to come to
book.  some of me though
and maybe it's the same for you
too wants to be the rolled wad
itself a bun of ink and easy
dealing or glassless spy glass
a tunnel that on one end the palm
end or the eye end is dark and dead

but the other if i turn around
and say fuck cliches look look
there's a match struck there's land
ho! there's enough light coming
from the back end of that bug
and i can pide piper her ass
right on out of this place alive
no questions asked.

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Homesick for Christina Olson

Homesick for Christina Olson




after Wyeth's Christina's World

he's famous for painting a lady
(though she'd never called her
self a lady)
lately come from her people's graves 
a righteous riot inside the secret
intimacy of the cemetery 
weeds, how she 
seems to teeter on her hip but really
it's her way of scudding meanly
by herself and her plaited frame
of bone and woven limbs, rude 
fingers and twisted pelvis of her some-
what diagnosed distrophy or my-
elitis she pulls herself by what grip
she can finger and widens her
strip between the farmhouse
and the grave her people wait
for her in, their days of climbing
lofts and stairs gone by
like a guest in a winter 
wind a blasted sea wind a goblin

sea captain and somehow a Hathorne
(the genealogy is true through,
her mother straight through,
to then past Nathaniel who slipped
in the 'w' and dropped the spiky 'e'
to keep himself as far away from
Salem condemnation as bloody fate
and taking his Seven Gables 
into fame like she, taking
 as her gaze toward her own place
into fame...tell me what do you
see in seeing: Christina or 
the autumn field or the farm's
barn or the three storied house
or the one or two swifts or swallows
falling in and out of the roof line
of the gable ends of the barn? 

something's suggesting sky, even
if the hill rises all around her, 
a pallat of autumn umbers and wind
coaxed grays.  Ok, not coaxed, not
on that crop.  Dictated really.  This 
is.  This is how it's going to be. Tell
me, haven't you known women
like her, sunk under the suffering
of their ferrous, their anvil and 
hammer life.  And haven't you sought
to validate that skin and that bone 
that waste of daily news under
the bum of the incontinent?  Leave it

to Wyeth, upstairs watching her
crawl back or toward, the story's
focus is variegated as the glass he sees
her through, determined too
and willing to strip down naked
for every waving blade of grass
for every crack in the path 
her hip has worn to polished clay.

Sunday, April 26, 2020

this question she prompts me







this question she prompts me:

Do you want me to mourn?
Do you want me to wear black?

Or like moonlight on whitest sand
to use your dark, to gleam, to shimmer?

                                       Yes
                                       Tess Gallagher

Haven't I always wanted to find a lightning
whelk? And isn't there one just outside, lips
down to the mound of ground, whispering?  And
hadn't I imagined I'd find it where it really be-
longed, and on its own terms: the water it was
cauldroned in and among the witches
squeezing their tits for libations into the grin
because see? the meat's gone I mean something's
eaten it or plucked it from its knuckled grip,
something has insisted, beak or finger (do
octopi (it's not octopi is it, it's octo-
pusses) like whelk do they snuggle the shell
up to their beak and sucker it some with one
of their eight arm 240 sucker cups or even
fleecing with one of their three (it's not three?
it's two?) different hearts and innumerable beats 
to work the bellows of their gills and do they ink
a little for sweet measure and does the whelk let
go I mean let itself go because there's
a difference right, on the way something lets 
go, it's the force of what's tugging right? something
like gravity or something charismatic or something
that's just the right amount of invisible or the right
amount of getaway pressure or get away come to me baby 
pressure and the muscle either flexes or relents, right?
Am I right to say that after, and I mean long after it's all
done, the shell's left barren and bereft
of itself (the shell is bereft of itself, right?)
because here it is in New Hampshire face 
down in a garden I inherited in the winter
and this is my first spring here, and only now,
because the snow is mostly gone, have I found 
it which takes me back to my first question but
not the one I asked, it's not my question about
whelks, its the one she asks in the epigraph 
(won't you read it again) (won't you?)  or shall I
press it against your ear with my lips and the tip
of my tongue before you abandon me for once
and entirely?  But what's that you say about the lightning
whelk?  That what I found isn't lightning? That
it's knobbed?  Like knuckles coming up
from a fist?  Isn't that what you said, finally?

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

when prompted for care





when prompted for care 
you choose:

cashmere: cotton: merino: because weather (sky/otherwise)
red: yellow: black: because visibility (need/incognito)

jeans: skirt: bare naked: because dressed (the last never/otherwise)
always: once upon a time: because pleasure (comfort/overrides)

kissing: hugging: distance glancing: because flirty (married/otherwise)
pucker: stiff: swift: because aroma (habit/foreplay)

talk: whisper: hold my tongue: because keeping peace (blood/otherwise)
lie: truth: implode: because nevernever (always/all ways)

whiskey: gin: hot brew: because never mind take it all (neat/otherwise)
water: tonic: self-ground whole bean: because stomach (moaning/morning)

fish: chicken: nothing at all: because hunger (teethtongue/otherwise)
trout fillet: breast and leg: empty plate: because uninspired (flesh/bone/no)

wake up: sleep late: never sleep: because blink (pillow/otherwise)
blink: dream: blink : or or or sheep: because counting (hoof/hoof/ boy
                                                                                         down the lane wool)

fiction: mystery: sci-fi: because facts (stated/otherwise)
western: Scottish Highlands: Venus: because sit your ass (or stand/genuflect)

stay: go: waver after her latestlast extubation: because who knows (dying/otherwise)
pull up a chair: I got to get home: I don't know how long (it takes/it takes)

write this: type this: say this out loud: because instructions (follow/or other wise)
ball point: qwerty: tongue and teeth: because: eat ! eat! (starve/no don't, please) eat.



Looking Up






Total non-retention has kept my education
from being a burden to me.
                                                 Flannery O'Connor
                                                 The Habit of Being

It's winter trees that seem (or seam)
against the lilac
sky (I've made off
with that from someone else but God
for the life of me I can't tell) branch
and twig and picked
and puckered shut rhyzome
that, now you have to look up for it,
call to mind the central nervous system
(like it's some train station
like if you think about it it kinda is)
I saw on exhibit last fall, the tall
rigid Plasticine filigrees reaching
out placating or supplicating or I mean
it seems leaves falling and rotting on their own
on the bottoms of swamps on the banks
of streets or country sideroads,
how those old stone walls have come
to be covered by winter after winter
of salts and sands and resilient 
varieties of moss or this one leaf
I saw yesterday it was a butterfly it was
a chipmunk with a hunk of something
on its tongue it was a nose or a throat
and it was what it was: a wintered
over oak leaf roan and not so
fragile as you may think and still
ain't it something under this sky ain't it
something lookit, aint it some
crisp and biting morning come up
whole come up from the bottom
how the pain starts in the toe
but you don't know it until the nerve
says so, until it runs all the way up,
up and breathless, until it says so,
until it zips all the way back
like a sizzling hot rivet tossed
and caught on the dead center chest
pocket on the top of the mop of hair
and aint that blaze a sun you've aw hell
Christ falling from the sky all been
looking up the whole time for?















Monday, April 20, 2020

Self Portrait I: Point of View Shift: Considering Rothko


Self Portrait I: Point
of View Shift: Considering Rothko

for Dylan D.


Maybe today's the day to make something
of Rothko's blocks of falling or coming up
from the bottom swatches of colors maybe
that's what I need to decide when I stand or
sit or lay beside the broad wide blocks
and mull and study and weigh the race he had to have made with his rages and the shades
of his plagues and the great pace or gra-
dation or taking away spaces to make
an engagement of waves say a ravishing
layer and layer and layer and layer
of radiance break through but too if you
the you that wants to opens with him
the intimacy it takes the ecstasy it takes
to cut the tubes of paint into and away
from the palate and scalpel and slice
and divide and find behind the "White
Center" and  "The Untitled's" the long
possibles, of structure  of turpentine
of the nebulous edges that dampened
his morass by all means please
by all means





Sunday, April 19, 2020

In Your Anxiety...Remember



In Your Anxiety...Remember

for my student Summer W.

In your anxiety you still
have your eight
fingers and your two thumbs in
your anxiety you still have

to open them remember
they are like the wings
they are remember when
you played

them against the light
and they made shades
and became
in flight in that light

a type of bird right
at the pause of your wrists
bird and bird they moved
you and you were

moved.  And the wall
and the spotlight was enough
in that moment and in that
the moment was
enough.  You played

and made yourself
laugh: a rabbit a panting dog
a bird.  And lately:
thumb to thumb

the C'd letter the deaf
recognize so well as one
of their own in right
and left hand they come together

and strike up
a conversation in love.
If the fist of your heart
is rigid, undo your digits

and put them right
hand first over your tight
and throbbing losses.  And with
what you have of your left palm press

it against the strumming
knuckles
lay them flat against their kin
and let them become

your stethoscope
let them pump your wondrous
shadow with trickles
of light let the fire

that flairs and dies and flairs
and dies only subside just enough
to calm you and to speak to you
in tongues

in your tongue
as though you were your own
mother and your own baby
calming one to one in the storm



percussion percussion

percussion percussion


if echoes were touch they would be
a too early garbage
truck whose back-up
lights slide up the ceiling
and the warning
noises of reverse become a hospital
concert competing for all the other
street sounds
we trade in and carry up and down
endlessly inside our flights
of stairs
in our brain like bricks like cedar shingles
like slate making itself into
slate and making itself into
every place we want to stay either briefly
or for a long long forever long time
at ease or in our snaking aches
that claim and reclaim
that summit without us (though
its our own body and we carry ourself
and ourselves like take take-away
these days because that's what's gone
and is remarkably simple: a single

one finger digit you choose 
your favorite and your favor
and one wrist or one lip to lift to the collarbone
unzip with permission without permitting again you
choose the whole throat exposed
oh 

and consider this:  its only half a touch
if there's no groan no low moan
that opens those lonely homes where a she
a she a he a they sit alone unclothed and only a radio
and only the snow and only they are told
how slow it's all going 
to go like a stone on furlough forever forever from
the tone of throats hoping that the only
grief stationed there will stay at least until 
the wind at least until the next stone usurping
until listen to it fall that noise
between top and bottom like reach like see
Keats and his Grecian Urn believe me we see we see
but do we see because touch is as much
an utterance its this that lifts
the lips from the skin that insists the hips
and the wrists are instant and in

we've become this haven't we: museum pieces
reaching for museum and even in reaching
we are receding and sweetly easing 
into alarm